All I needed was one last word. Three years of mental abuse I owed myself those words. There were so many things I was too nice to tell him, but I had to open that curtain for my sanity.
In all honesty I dont know if I'm sorry... because theres almost a selfish side to your point of view. Of course I'm sorry for hurting you but for doing it? Probly not. I've spent my whole life looking out for whos feelings I've hurt and forgot about the rage building up inside my heart. I needed to let that rage go and if you can't understand that then I'm slightly confused as to who you want happy here.
I can assure everyone it's not a matter of not being able to let go. I can't even begin to describe that anger and rage I have towards him and the funny part is it has nothing to do with me but everything to do with my son. I'm not fighting this fight for me, but I tell you nothing is bothering me to save you from worry and I forget about me. I hide my pain and rage for him because I know anything to do with him upsets you.
My fight is just begining, yours is ending... The difference between me and you is I don't go down without a fight, and you told me no matter what you'll be there for me but now its to the point where I can't even talk to you about it because weither its good nor bad it all upsets you. I'm left to do nothing but fight this on my own in my head. Its exhausted and eats apart every bit of me. I feel like I'm not allowed to be angry or upset still.
If this is how you want it to end, I'm sorry it ended like this. I really wish you could put on a pair of my shoes for once.
I love you.
In all honesty I dont know if I'm sorry... because theres almost a selfish side to your point of view. Of course I'm sorry for hurting you but for doing it? Probly not. I've spent my whole life looking out for whos feelings I've hurt and forgot about the rage building up inside my heart. I needed to let that rage go and if you can't understand that then I'm slightly confused as to who you want happy here.
I can assure everyone it's not a matter of not being able to let go. I can't even begin to describe that anger and rage I have towards him and the funny part is it has nothing to do with me but everything to do with my son. I'm not fighting this fight for me, but I tell you nothing is bothering me to save you from worry and I forget about me. I hide my pain and rage for him because I know anything to do with him upsets you.
My fight is just begining, yours is ending... The difference between me and you is I don't go down without a fight, and you told me no matter what you'll be there for me but now its to the point where I can't even talk to you about it because weither its good nor bad it all upsets you. I'm left to do nothing but fight this on my own in my head. Its exhausted and eats apart every bit of me. I feel like I'm not allowed to be angry or upset still.
If this is how you want it to end, I'm sorry it ended like this. I really wish you could put on a pair of my shoes for once.
I love you.
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