Cracked diamond, abused being. Is this heaven?

I spose I let people misunderstand me. I spose its because I don't let people read my pages so its their best instinct to go off my cover. I spose this is all my fault but I dunno how to let them in.
I tried burning pages and skipping chapters but where did that leave me? Lost. I try to give previews but its just leaves people even more confused.
My intentions are never cruel but they leave people pondering my innocence. Could I be just an innocent girl in a cruel world? Could I just be a diamond buried and forgotten in the rubble. Or I am just like everyone else?
Lord why I am I here? What is my purpose? What is my bigger plan? You left a purpose in my heart but you failed to let me know exactly what it is. Did I miss it? Even I know there's plenty of times you could have taken me but you didn't. Why? What keeps you from expiring my visa? Who's life am I supposed to change. You left a quote buried in my brain im still trying to live up to. What's the need for all the abuse and neglect? Why do people have to have cruel and ugly intentions? Why me? Lord for once I feel needed and loved like I always begged for. I promised you I wouldn't take it for granted and here I am trying to make up for the times I did but I promise you I never once had the intentions of damaging what you gave me. I sware he's all I've ever wanted and need. Show me how to fix the cracks and believe me when I say Im truely blessed. Who would have know you had someone just like me waiting for my love on the other side of this fucked up nation. Who wanted and needed the same as me. But how do you take two damage diamonds and make them into something beautiful. How? I need to know. What is my purpose? How do I let him in? And lastly how do I fix him... me....us. "When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manor that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice" - author unknownis